Went to see the doc for a routine fiz-cull.
He made a suggestion, said it might be crit-cull.
You’re a healthy old dude but to keep it all rollin’
Ya oughta have a visual inspection of your colon.
I’ll ‘splain it to you now so at least you got a clue
‘bout what a colonoscopy will do for you.
There’s a camera on a cable and we run it up your rear.
Then we watch a monitor for bad stuff to appear.
We’re lookin’ for a growth that we call a polyp,
Some of them are harmless, but there’s some that pack a wallop.
But big or small, we find ‘em all and treat ‘em all the same.
We mow those suckers down. It’s like a video game!
Ya really ought to do it . Please forgive me if I nag,
Cuz it sucks to go through chemo or be wearin’ a bag!
I asked if it would hurt and the doc said “Nah”
You’ll think you spent a day at a fancy spa.”
It don’t hurt a bit cuz yer out like a light,
And you ‘ll sleep like a baby the followin’ night.
Insurance pays the bill, but you still pay a price.
See, the day before is anything but nice.
You can’t eat nuthin’ for half a day,
And you best be sure the crapper’s not too far away
Cuz we make you drink a laxative that’s called Go Lightly,
But that’s exaggeration cuz it makes you go might’ly
But don’t let all that stop ya from doin’ what you should,
Cuz knowin’ that yer colon’s fine feels mighty good.
So I had one and I’m glad and you oughta have one too.
Just suck it up and do it cuz it’s good for you.