Ken’s Colonoscopy Rap

Ken Mogren is not a big fan of rap music but he chose that genre to describe his colonoscopy experience when he created “Colonoscopy Rap” to encourage others to have this screening. Click here to read the corresponding colonoscopy article in the Spring 2012 issue of Healthy Connections.

Went to see the doc for a routine fiz-cull.
He made a suggestion, said it might be crit-cull.

You’re a healthy old dude but to keep it all  rollin’
Ya oughta have a visual inspection of your colon.

I’ll  ‘splain it to you now so at least you got a clue
‘bout what a colonoscopy will do for you.

There’s a camera on a cable and we run it up your rear.
Then we watch a monitor for bad stuff to appear.

We’re lookin’ for a growth that we call a polyp,
Some of them are harmless, but there’s some that pack a wallop.

But big or small, we find  ‘em all and treat ‘em all the same.
We mow those suckers down. It’s like a video game!

Ya really ought to do it . Please forgive me if I nag,
Cuz it sucks to go through  chemo or be wearin’ a bag!

I asked if it would hurt and the doc said “Nah”
You’ll think you spent a day at a fancy spa.”

It don’t hurt a bit cuz yer out like a light,
And you ‘ll sleep like a baby the followin’ night.

Insurance pays the bill, but you still pay a price.
See, the day before is anything but nice.

You can’t eat nuthin’ for half a day,
And you best be sure the crapper’s not too far away

Cuz we make you drink a laxative that’s called Go Lightly,
But that’s exaggeration cuz it makes you go might’ly

But don’t let all  that stop ya from doin’ what you should,
Cuz knowin’ that yer colon’s fine feels mighty good.

So I had one and I’m glad and you oughta have one  too.
Just suck it up and do it cuz  it’s good for you.

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